Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Why do guys on dating apps often just first message "hey" or "hey how are you" instead of being more creative and unique? How do they think being a copycat will stand out?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

What would you change in the "Game of Thrones" storyline if you were one of the writers of the TV series?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why are people outraged over Latina actress, Rachel Zegler, being cast to play Snow White in the live action remake of Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I actually pay taxes

You guys are talking about having sex with dogs. I heard a news man was trying to have sex with a female dog and got stuck inside. Is that possible? How does it feel inside a dog’s vagina?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why do wives cheat on their loyal husbands?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why is Reddit blocked by the Indonesian government?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Which unexpected celebrity has done a bold or revealing photoshoot?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

How has your life changed since starting college?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Do you think some men have sex with prostitutes because they're too afraid to talk to women? Money does the talking for them.

I can read

I see through liars

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What is the most unwatchable movie you have sat through?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

How do you know if your husband loves you truly and deeply?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them